woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
