Duck Duck Cougar?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
stop calling my apartment porn island.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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