I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Randomize
