4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
