Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
