she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
