2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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