I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
