We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
