the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
