She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
