At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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