I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
