the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
