She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
