Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize