I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
