Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
