Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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