I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
