; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
