i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
