so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
