i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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