Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
