i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
