ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize
