At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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