the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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