I think I am morally bankrupt
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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