can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
