my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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