New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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