this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
