yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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