What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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