I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
