Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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