Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
