Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
