I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
