im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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