can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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