garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
