I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
