I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
