i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
The air taste purple.
Randomize
