My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
