I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
