susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
