well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
