his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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